Where are you from? Um…
A simple question. Most people would answer it in a second saying “Cochin”, “Delhi”, “ Mumbai”, But for me and several folks who have parents in a transferrable job or who are highly ambitious, this is one dreaded question in any conversation.
People normally face identity crisis in families with mixed marriages. With statements like “I am quarter Punjabi, quarter Malyali, half Tamilian and half Gujrathi” soon becoming common, the question “whats your mother tongue” is going to be one baffling question in the future. But to identify themselves with a native place is soon turning out to be a worse nightmare for people these days.
Most times, I try to avoid further questions if I am really not in the mood to continue the conversation by plainly saying “ Bangalore”. But situations are not always kind to me.
“You mean, your native is Bangalore?” (Yeah, that’s funny. Because most people in India are convinced that a place can be your native only if you mention a remote village or town which they have never heard of. )
“yeah..”
“But Baskaran? Your surname sounds tamilian to me. Whats with the “an” at the end of it?”
“<slapping my head mentally> Oh that. My father’s family settled in Tamil Nadu long ago and have stayed there for several generations.”
“So , he’s a tamilian? “
“<trying to hide my gritting teeth> Um, nope.My parents are kannadigas.” ( This statement is always stated with a moment of hesitation. Even you would, if the language you speak at home is a homogenous mix of several Indian languages peppered with English. And how confidently can I state this when my Father can read,write and speak Tamil better than most Tamilians while he cannot read a single letter in Kannada and blinks uncomprehendingly when the Kannada news channel is on? )
And that’s a sample of the simplest conversation that this question can result in.
During times when I feel the need to explain exactly where I am from, I start by saying “ Well, my dad works in a Bank. So I was born in chennai where i lived for the first five years of my life, I did most of my schooling in Mumbai , my xith and xiith in Chennai, and then came to Bangalore to do my Engineering. Basically, I am a kannadiga.”
By this time, the unfortunate person conversing with me would get the feeling that he probably asked too much, and I would be groaning inside for blabbering so much.
One my closest friends faces a similar dilemma. On being asked the damned question, she clears her throat and replies : “Well, I was born in Hyderabad. Then, my dad moved to Chennai. After a couple of years in Chennai, my dad got a job in Bangkok, So I did a couple of years of school there.Then my parents continued to stay there while I returned to Chennai. Then my parents shifted to Mumbai.After two years there, Dad shifted to Dubai and I went to high school there. Then I came to Bangalore to do my engineering.”. Phew. By the end of this family history speech, most people feel like they have known her for years.
My geometry skills @ work
Like i heard someone comment recently, maybe we should find a place approximately average of the coordinates of place of birth, maximum years of stay, and mother tongue ( mine being Chennai,Mumbai and Bangalore). So maybe i should start telling people I am from Hospet and that would probably shut them up for a while, or knowing my luck, would invite a zillion more questions :S. If you have a story similar to mine, and have additionally lived abroad, i would advice you to avoid this theory or you’ll probably end up saying “Dead Sea”.
Of late, I mentally try to fix word limits and frame the reply in my head, doing a cut copy paste here and there to avoid boring a senior colleague @ work ( who I wish to impress ) /a friend (who I wish to keep).
And this highly edited reply comes to much use, like recently at work, I entered the lift and struck conversation with a person who asked this question casually. My department being in the second floor, I quickly glanced at the floor indicator and mentally formatted my reply. Modulating my speed to finish answering before the lift opened, I just had the time to say bye before the door closed behind me.
I took a deep breath and sighed.
The Where are you from? Um… by Sahithya, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Anil Pai says:
Actually I thought ur mom is from Mangalore and ur dad is from Chennai, and taking the mid point of the line, you call urself a Bangalorean
Nice post btw 
Was not aware of this site of urs…
Gayathri Raman says:
very well written chinnu….. awesome….. I’m very happy that i have been an inspiration for you to write this……
Sahithya says:
@Anil : lol. Now, thats a wierder assumption. where did Mangalore come from??!
Thanks btw..
@ Gayathri : You truly have been
Sandhya Sankar says:
Really nice
I get the same thing so often too, ppl aren’t satisfied until i get into the minutae 
Going to be the first time i apply co-ordinate geometry 
Sahithya says:
Mansha says:
Oh I tooooooooootally feel you! BTW, good thing that theory of coordinates doesn’t apply to people who live(d) abroad. Going by that, I should be from somewhere in the middle of the Arabian Sea (Secunderabad, Dubai/Sharjah, Malayalam). Oh and as of now, my parents are based in Bangkok. Haha! =D
Sahithya says:
haha.. omg..just realized i totally counted Singapore( parents’s home since 3 yrs) out of this formula and i am glad i did! Might have ended up being classified as an aborigine in andaman
Tamara says:
Theory of coordinates! Haha! Enjoyed reading it, brilliant Chinnu!
Sushma Alphonsa says:
Simple n true! the state of many families in this present generation! n ya wen hyderabad came- flashback of gayatris story of origin came to my mind! ha ha…goood old memoirs!
Sangeeta says:
conversation in the lift with a senior colleague u wished to impress ??? *cough cough* . ahem ahem .
Keep writing mudra ! good job
Ninaada says:
Nice post… Even my case would be somewhat similar, but not as diverse as yours… Born in south Karnataka, childhood in mumbai, high school onwards in bangalore…
Sahithya says:
@Sangi… relax. It was not Duvidhaa
nd thanx!
@ Ninaada : hehe.. we all have our own stories!
Sumathi says:
Sahithya, did you know? my birthplace is coimbatore, and appa spent his childhood days in challampatty, (madurai)
This small box is not enough if I start to write about your either side grandparents’ places!!!!!!!!!!
Moral : Please keep in touch with MOTHER TONGUE so that connectivity is well maintained and you stay in touch with roots….. do you agree??
preethi says:
nice post chins!!! when i read the first line i kinda expected deeku’s story to be in it..
lol!!
loved the theory of coordinates!! and totally agree with aunty.. learn kannada
Enisha says:
Nice Sahithya
Pradeep Nayak says:
HaHa!! Very well written. My answer is Born in Shimoga, lived at Vemabalitalam,Delhi,Salem,Virajpet,Jabalpur,Hubli,Mysore,Mangalore,Bangalore and now Hyderabad….
dodappamma says:
anil is not alone. i hv heard many people say that we r fm mlore after hearing our kannada.
very nicely written. i ve experienced this problem without roots in the place of birth or present place of stay . a1 and a2 ‘ s travails are still worse with calcutta being the place of their birth!
dodappamma says:
befitting article for Right in the middle coloumn of Deccan Herald
Sahithya says:
Hehe.. i can imagine their situation!
Btw i can see the gama phenomenon reflected in “dodappamma”..haha ! Deccan Herald is a little too much for the face of this random post, but thanks for thinking so! 
Sahithya says:
@ Sumathi : Dint expect you to start advicing here also, but yes i agree
@ Preethi : Ofcourse, Gayathri had to be involved
@Enisha : Thankoo!
and Pradeep, I am out of words!!! Lol!
s.baskaran says:
Well written with subtle humour. The identity crisis
deepens if you look for the roots of Tamil Nadu based Kannada speaking Madhwa Brahmins who use archaic words (eg.”Gungadu” in stead of “sollai” for mosquittoes,
which present day kannadigas in Bangalore can not decypher). I still remember missing out Syndicate Bank
Probationary Officers selection by a whisker because I could not get the exact Matta to which we belong when interviewed in Manipal (near Udupi, the spring board of Madhwa philosophy). This is the flip side due to the clash of the cultures losing one’s roots. Just look around and pen your thoughts. You have the makings of a good writer. It needs sharpening by practice ,observation , curiosity and of course good sense of humour which this article has in abundance.
Sahithya says:
Haha!! Thank you pa!! Never heard this story before!! Good.. i shall continue writing to bring out such secrets!
Nivibunny says:
LOL! Chinnu! Perfect article! and you know the funny thing? The tone, style and humor is something from the influence of time magazine and economist.
But beautifully written! and a befitting topic. And incredible to think that my cousin goes through the same mental processes when it comes to the question “where are you from?” …because the way youve described it is exactly my dilemma in Notts. hahah! unreal dude. unreal.
!
(except in my case it’s erm. Austrian..erm. Banglore..erm. Im not too sure myself – seems to work aswell!)
fantastic read mausie. (Now im going to get killed for calling u that in public.
)
Sahithya says:
Yes, you are!
and lol, and never imagined you going through the same situation! Even if you said Austria, they would believe you in an instant ( coz of the hypothetical european ancestor! haha..) , perhaps the name would give it away 
Thanks for the great feedback though.. not sure i deserve “time magazine” comparisons! 
Sandeep says:
can totally related to this blog…there have been times when I have tried to avoid the family history speech by saying “does it matter…I am from India” or say “I am from Chennai machi” to chennaiites and say “Naanu bengaluru kano.. oh ninu bengaluru inda na…yelllo magaa” or “from south india but basically a mumbaiite by heart since I lived there for 10 years… unbeatable culture and pace of life” ….
Was able to fit into all kinds of groups this way but yeah there are times when you wish you had a clear place of origin like “When supporting a team in IPL”
But then one day I had a realization… Light shinin on my head, whistling for rajni’s dialogues… Thats when you know home is where your heart is
Sahithya says:
So, thats how you fit in!! :O or rather you don’t! (referring to whistling, that too the rowdy kind, in Chicago’s theatres ).. No matter where you go, you’ll still be the guy who watches Rajni movies first day first show even if it means a hole in your pocket
Home is definitely where the heart is!
Janice says:
too gud sahithya:)
Maitreyee Chowdhury says:
I know exactly how you feel…my journey to so many places..thanks to my dad s & hubbys transfer leave me gasping..have a similar article titled roots..if U have the time U cd check it out…
zephyr says:
Hey Sahitya, I didn’t know you had a blog! Just today when I saw you had added me to your network at Indi, I realised you are a blogger too and a damn humorous one at that! How ’bout a guest post, eh?
Sahithya says:
@Maitreyee : definitely!
@Zephyr : Thank you aunty..Its relatively new! I finally found the time to pen down a few things after a long time.. And guest post? I’m honoured! Anytime!
ViX says:
nice post … though i’ve not been in such a situation … i’ve been in worse ones trying in vain to get people pronouncing my name right.
btw, you should consider adding the Facebook like button to the comments part for the reason that they’re exceeding the length of your post and also because i would like to “like” Sandeep’s comment
Sahithya says:
@ViX : Hehe, i can imagine!
and thanks for the suggestion.. will deftly do that! 